Shirley Hogan // Canadian Mental Health Association of Northern BC
Self-care is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and those around us. Some people think self-care is selfish or inconsiderate; however, we cannot help or care for others if our own cup is empty. Often as our schedules fill up and time is limited one of the first things to go by the wayside is self-care. If we don’t have the energy or time for self-care, it’s helpful to remember that self-care actually increases your energy and helps you be more effective.
These are trying times. Remember when we were all going to stay home for 14 days, flatten the curve, and get back to our lives? I do. I also remember thinking ‘this is an important time to take care of myself and ensure that I (we) have the resilience to get through this’, and I did that…for a while. Fast forward 19 months and I, like many of us, find myself at times feeling burnt out and just plain tired of it all.
So how do we put ourselves first? How do we rewind and find the motivation to take care of ourselves?
Start where you are!
Self-care is easy when we are feeling strong, healthy, and in control of our lives, but it’s more difficult when we are tired, overwhelmed, and discouraged. Add to that the fact that the days are getting shorter and colder. Yet so many of these stressors are things that we have no control over. We do not get to decide when COVID will end or how to make summer last. Our best option is to start where we are. Have you ever thought, “I will start or get back into exercising, or eating healthy, or journaling, or whatever it is, when I feel better, when I have more time, when things calm down?” I have, and about a month ago I heard myself saying just those things. Then I remembered, we start where we are. Energy begets energy. How I talk to myself matters. It is up to me to make self-care a priority.
Self care should feel good.
What is self-care and how do we start? It is important to remember that self-care can and does look different for everyone. Often when I visualize self-care, I envision someone outside running and eating broccoli for dessert. But what if I don’t want to go for a run and broccoli is not my idea of dessert? What if self-care feels more like work than like care? This is where we need to be careful, lower the bar, and start where we are! Self-care should feel good, and we should feel better after. We all have different needs and desires. Our bodies are not all the same, nor are our wallets. However, we cannot let these things stop us. Sometimes, especially when we have not been taking good care of ourselves or we are under extra stress, self-care does feel like work, yet we must find ways to push past those feelings and start where we are to reap the benefits.
Keep it simple!
Our health is complicated, so we want to simplify our self-care. One rule of thumb to remember is that we cannot separate our physical health from our social/spiritual health or our mental health. According to the World Health Organization, health is “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease and infirmity”. They are all connected, and we need to care for each area of our health. Supporting one area inevitably supports the other areas. We just have to start.
I have included a few ideas to help get you started. Remember that the more we practice self-care, the easier it becomes.
- Get outside! Go for a walk or a run, or shovel the driveway. Just get outside!
- Breathe! Nice big inhales and slow and steady exhales. You can do this anytime anywhere. Deep breaths help slow down our stress response. (Try it now!)
- Be grateful! Find something every day to be grateful for and challenge yourself to find something new every day. (Do it now!)
- Do your best to get a good night sleep and eat well.
- Do some yoga. (Free classes are available on the internet so you can do it from home.)
- Smile and do something just for the fun of it! (Smile!)
- Sit still, close your eyes and quiet your mind. Start with just a few minutes and slowly increase as it becomes easier and more comfortable. (Multi task and breathe deeply at the same time!)
- Be kind—do something nice for someone else.
- Be kind—do something nice for you! (You deserve it!)
About the author: Shirley is currently the Manager of Education and Projects for the Canadian Mental Health Association of Northern BC She recently moved back to Prince George, her hometown, after spending close to 10 years in the Okanagan. Prior to working with CMHA she was a civilian member with the RCMP and Program Coordinator for the Crisis Centre of Northern BC. Shirley presents on a wide variety of topics relating to health and mental wellbeing at work and home.